As a mom, we want to fix everything that is broken, put a band-aid on every boo boo, and convince our babies that everything will be okay. I remember as a kid and even now, if Mom says it will be okay, it will be okay. Our children have this never ending trust in us to take care of everything and make sure that we will make everything right in the world....
It doesn't even have to be a boo boo to take care of but something as simple as, "Mom where is my white shirt?!" You sit back and look at the stack of laundry waiting to be washed, eyes look to the washing machine knowing you have a batch in there, and then to the dryer and automatically ask yourself, "Do you even know what you dried?" Then your mind wonders to the closets and dressers and then it hits you, "We have a 1000 white pieces of clothing in this house!" But being the mom that we are, we automatically remember the exact white shirt they are speaking about! All is right in the world because you know EXACTLY where it is and then oh oh *eyes close and shoulders slump because you know exactly where this is headed*, it's in the pile of laundry waiting to be washed. No time to wash, dry, and then hand off to the 10 year staring at you like the day is over if she cannot wear that white shirt. But wait, IDEA, (time to change that slightly burnt light bulb because now it's flickering), you offer a different shirt trying to stress that she looks perfectly fine wearing it. Wait here it comes, the eyes rolling, and the infamous, "Fine!" Though it wasn't complete successful win of the war, you did conquer this little battle with a slight injury of, "Instead of waiting until tomorrow to do my dirty laundry, I have to do a white batch of clothes now because just maybe she will remember tomorrow morning that she did not wear that white shirt and want it again! Wait, NO bleach! OMGosh can this get any worse!" Okay maybe a little bigger injury because now you have to include a trip to Wal Mart for that bleach! hehe All this over a white shirt and wanting to make your child smile! This is something that we can fix!
Then there are the moments and boo boos that can't be fixed with a band aid. When they look at you with a complete hurt and you have no answers and no solutions, you try everything in your power to come up with a ways to make this right, make this better. Being a mom holds the responsibility of being a cook (or in my home sometimes, "call your grandfather and asked him what he cooked for supper), a maid, a teacher, a personal shopper, a beautician, a nurse, a doctor, personal chaufeur, wait there is something I am missing, dog groomer, dog feeder, and of course, hero. In the times that life hands your babies their own personal heartache, you are supposed to fly in on your magic mommy carpet and whisk away all the bad. Sometimes it's a quick little heartache, minor tears, "Jimmy told me I didn't look cute today!", ewww boys can be so mean, and your reply, "Tell Jimmy you think he is cute and he will run and won't bother you again!" She smiles and then realizes that 9 year old boys do not want to hear they are cute because girls have "cooties" and that just isn't cool. Problem solved. Yay! The world is right again now onto her next problem, "Mom what are YOU wearing?" You sit back and think, "Wait, how did this turn around on me?!" However, the big heartaches tend to be a little more complicated. Even at 31, my mom still thinks it's her duty to whisk away all my bad and make it all right. Being the wise and sometimes ditzy woman I am, I know that is not possible. My girls have dealt with a lot of heartache in their short years. Many Many Many Days I wanted to just hide them from the world and cover them with this protective shield that all the hurts would bounce off of and they wouldn't even notice. That's not reality. In this instances of no more answers, no more solutions, you simply offer a hug, kiss the top of their head, and say, "It will be okay." It's been my experience that 90% of the time, that simple gesture and saying becomes that protective shield and guess what? All is right in the world.
I really think that we should make ourselves Super Hero Apron's (capes are out of style apparently according to Kimberleigh) and put a big "M" on it (make sure it sparkles and is in a print that is "in" or you too will have the infamous question, "What are YOU wearing?". We can also add patches like the Girl Scouts do for every problem and task that we complete. If you sit and think about it, an apron isn't big enough for all the patches that would be sewn own. There is ONE I missed, SEAMSTRESS!!! But that big "M" is pretty much the only patch we need. We are mothers, we are super heroes. Even when the world is giving us our own war, we look at our children, stand up straight, chin up, and smile. Your war is nothing compared to what you are protecting your babies from: ant bites, mosquitoes, a common cold, finding shoes to match her outfit, you picked the wrong shoes to go with her outfit, softball practice, cheerleading practice, you become the cheerleader because you know every cheer and move, and the list goes on and on. But what we don't see is while protecting our babies from all the boo boos simple and complicated, we are learning to be strong and face our own boo boos. And how does this happen? Because we are mothers, we are the strongest people our children know.
Today begins with: Wake up and Coffee Time with the girls: Check - Bottle Time with Kaesen - Check, "Mom where are my skinny jeans?": Check - "Mom my hair is doing this bumpy thing! Fix it!": Check - Take morning pictures of Kaesen smiling: Check - Girls on their way to school: Check - Baby at Sitter: Check - Traffic: CHECK CHECK - Work: Check - My Mind: I know EXACTLY where it is! It's EXACTLY where I left it! Wait, now if only I could remember where I left it! hehe
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
First Day of Blogging My Journey
Who knew that the journey of motherhood would take me to blogging my days of memories, suprises, and adventures. Seems like everywhere we turn the world is advancing at a pace that even the slightest detail of our every day lives gets some sort of interest through twitter, Facebook, and even the relic of MySpace. However, despite all the advances in today's society, being a mom is complicated yet simple with no technological advancements in ourselves. The love and devotion to our babies is a constant that doesn't include an upgrade or a download or a status.
One of my best friends introduced me to blogging and I never did quite understand the point of it. It wasn't until today after reading a very touching and emotional blog of hers that I decided that this could be some sort of release or conversation. Even though no one may reply or comment, you have let out a frustration, talked about a moment that changed you, or something that makes you smile from the inside out.
My journal of my journey will have up moments and down moments. At the age of 31, I have learned that life changes in an instant with good and bad. I will begin this journal talking about my three greatest accomplishments that started this incredible journey for me.
Kaitlyn was born on May 30, 2000. A very quiet and calm baby, Kaitlyn had this peace about her from the moment I laid eyes on her. My pregnancy wasn't planned and I was only married for one year. The thought of having a baby, having this little person depend on me was a frightening thought. At the age of 21, I didn't know what to cook for supper or even make a substantial grocery list much less care for a baby. My mom always told me, "Being a mom comes natural and you will see everything fall into place when you see your baby." So being 21, I relied on mom's advice and anxiously awaited the arrival of my daughter. Arriving 6 weeks early, Kaitlyn Paige came into this world and ever since has become not only my slice of peacefulness but my best friend. Her quiet nature is calming and despite being a huge tomboy, she always needs a hug from me. Those hugs are journey moments I never want to forget.
Kimberleigh was born on November 17, 2001. A very happy and laughing baby, Kimberleigh had this light in her eyes and I knew she would be my firecracker. Kimberleigh came 7 weeks early and stayed in NICU for 3 weeks. I thought I had experienced every emotion already as a mother because I considered myself a "vet!" How could I not be prepared for walking into a NICU and seeing my little baby girl with tubes every where and trying to make it? I remember the moment I saw an IV in her head and I lost it. I wanted to take her home, love her, and fight this battle for her. One thing my daughter taught me in that NICU is that no matter how small you are, you can fight this biggest battle of your life and win. Kimberleigh came home in time for Christmas and to this day, she has a fighting personality that will catch you off guard but make you laugh in one breath. The birth of Kimberleigh and her NICU stay were journey moments of pain, sadness, and then extreme joy. She is known as the Diva in my home and even though she is HUGE personality, she still needs her mom even for the little boo boos.
Enter: Divorce 2006
Enter: Marriage 2010
Enter: Divorce 2010
Kaesen was born on December 31, 2010. You are reading that correctly. I just had my little boy a few short months ago. When I thought I would never have any more children, the Lord blessed me with the most handsome baby. He is already showing a personality trait like his older sister, Kimberleigh, and I am getting ready for his shocking moments. Kasesn was born 5 weeks early. As you can see, my pregnancy journey ends quickly and without warning. I was blessed that he wasn't put in NICU but for only a few short hours to monitor his breathing. During my pregnancy, a lot happened in my life and my focus remained on Kaesen and the two girls. My pregnancy included pre-term labor at 22 weeks, bed rest, and a very interesting journey to the hospital that included my step-mom driving really fast and almost hitting my mom in front of us. Thank you Nissan for the breaks on my car.
So now on to my first official day of blogging. My day consisted of 6 a.m. wake up coffee time for Kaitlyn and Kimberleigh and 6:15 a.m. bottle time for Kaesen. Rush out the door. Girls on bus: Check - Baby in carseat: Check - Traffic: Check - Baby at Sitter: Check - Work: Check - My mind: Wait I think I lost that somewhere. Hmmmm, now where could that thing be! hehe
One of my best friends introduced me to blogging and I never did quite understand the point of it. It wasn't until today after reading a very touching and emotional blog of hers that I decided that this could be some sort of release or conversation. Even though no one may reply or comment, you have let out a frustration, talked about a moment that changed you, or something that makes you smile from the inside out.
My journal of my journey will have up moments and down moments. At the age of 31, I have learned that life changes in an instant with good and bad. I will begin this journal talking about my three greatest accomplishments that started this incredible journey for me.
Kaitlyn was born on May 30, 2000. A very quiet and calm baby, Kaitlyn had this peace about her from the moment I laid eyes on her. My pregnancy wasn't planned and I was only married for one year. The thought of having a baby, having this little person depend on me was a frightening thought. At the age of 21, I didn't know what to cook for supper or even make a substantial grocery list much less care for a baby. My mom always told me, "Being a mom comes natural and you will see everything fall into place when you see your baby." So being 21, I relied on mom's advice and anxiously awaited the arrival of my daughter. Arriving 6 weeks early, Kaitlyn Paige came into this world and ever since has become not only my slice of peacefulness but my best friend. Her quiet nature is calming and despite being a huge tomboy, she always needs a hug from me. Those hugs are journey moments I never want to forget.
Kimberleigh was born on November 17, 2001. A very happy and laughing baby, Kimberleigh had this light in her eyes and I knew she would be my firecracker. Kimberleigh came 7 weeks early and stayed in NICU for 3 weeks. I thought I had experienced every emotion already as a mother because I considered myself a "vet!" How could I not be prepared for walking into a NICU and seeing my little baby girl with tubes every where and trying to make it? I remember the moment I saw an IV in her head and I lost it. I wanted to take her home, love her, and fight this battle for her. One thing my daughter taught me in that NICU is that no matter how small you are, you can fight this biggest battle of your life and win. Kimberleigh came home in time for Christmas and to this day, she has a fighting personality that will catch you off guard but make you laugh in one breath. The birth of Kimberleigh and her NICU stay were journey moments of pain, sadness, and then extreme joy. She is known as the Diva in my home and even though she is HUGE personality, she still needs her mom even for the little boo boos.
Enter: Divorce 2006
Enter: Marriage 2010
Enter: Divorce 2010
Kaesen was born on December 31, 2010. You are reading that correctly. I just had my little boy a few short months ago. When I thought I would never have any more children, the Lord blessed me with the most handsome baby. He is already showing a personality trait like his older sister, Kimberleigh, and I am getting ready for his shocking moments. Kasesn was born 5 weeks early. As you can see, my pregnancy journey ends quickly and without warning. I was blessed that he wasn't put in NICU but for only a few short hours to monitor his breathing. During my pregnancy, a lot happened in my life and my focus remained on Kaesen and the two girls. My pregnancy included pre-term labor at 22 weeks, bed rest, and a very interesting journey to the hospital that included my step-mom driving really fast and almost hitting my mom in front of us. Thank you Nissan for the breaks on my car.
So now on to my first official day of blogging. My day consisted of 6 a.m. wake up coffee time for Kaitlyn and Kimberleigh and 6:15 a.m. bottle time for Kaesen. Rush out the door. Girls on bus: Check - Baby in carseat: Check - Traffic: Check - Baby at Sitter: Check - Work: Check - My mind: Wait I think I lost that somewhere. Hmmmm, now where could that thing be! hehe
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